the fine art of the Dine & Dash

OK, look…If you feel the need to execute a dine and dash, let me spell out a quick moral guide for you(as if you didn’t already know, but if you didn’t, you’re a douchebag!).
I would say that the first rule(and maybe ONLY rule) to dine and dashing has everything to do with the dining establishment in question itself. If you are sitting down to a meal at a restaurant that is family owned and not a chain operated business, then that would be your first tip as to a place not to carry out this kind of mission. Chain restaurants are a much better target; they have so much more money to cover such incidences than mom and pop type spots. Also, you probably would know some of the folks who work at a family owned jonx as opposed to a chain-operated spot, which should lend to an atmosphere of family/friend that should prohibit such actions.
The reason I am bringing this up is due to the fact that my boy John, who works at a family-run restaurant, recently had a run-in with some dumbfuck who thought he could go for the dine & dash gold at his place of employment. According to John, the guy ran up a tab in excess of $85 and then proceeded to hit up the front door like a subway turnstile and kept struttin on…Well, John didn’t take to this lightly, as he shouldn’t(being that it is his livelyhood!!), and chased the guy out the door and, in the ensuing mess, tackled the guy, only to have hime get away as John was attempting to call the cops. The squirrelly fuck threw him to the ground and then bounced like the check he left.
I used to work at the same spot and I didn’t dig it, for many reasons, but I wouldn’t advocate a dine and dash there, primarily due to the fact that it is a family-run spot and my boy John works there(most importantly!). I have performed a dine and dash before, but it was a Dennys’ and it was 4 in the morning, when my friend and I had waited an hour and a half for food and even longer for a check that never appeared…so we, drunkenly, took advantage of the opportunity at hand in a corporate spot that has no ties to the community and pays their workers the same shit wages no matter what(by the way, we left a tip for the poor waitress, who was so completely overworked and bogged down).
I guess, maybe with no real valid reasons to back me up, I just feel that if you are going to dine & dash, just try not to pick a spot that is family run and has folks workin their asses off just to get to the next paycheck(which is true of Dennys’ workers, too, but I still feel differently justified…!!)
Goodnight for now and hopefully, I will be able to castigate the world more clearly tomorrow.
Love, Rev. Gabelicious

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One thought on “the fine art of the Dine & Dash”

  1. Good advice as far as the family owned vs. corperation. Almost a steal from the rich give to the poor kinda feeling. My friends and i used to steel from gas stations, but never from a localy owned business.

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