Watching the Brewers-Cardinals tilt on ESPN for some baseball action and yet again, Joe Morgan says some deplorable and ignorant shit. This is one of my favorite subjects to complain about in sports broadcasting: the ignorance and stupidity of Joe Morgan. So, the 2nd inning just ended and he’s already puked out some Morgan Memorables. First, in the pregame discussion of lineups, he’s talking about Prince Fielder and how he’s “earned the right” to no longer have people (including Morgan) confuse him for his papa, Cecil Fielder. Two parts to this to unpack/break down: a.) I think Prince Fielder earned the right to be called by his name and not his daddy’s when he was born and, b.) Shouldn’t Morgan be aware that Prince and his pops aren’t even on speaking terms and thus, what seems to be chuckle-worthy to Jumpin’ Joe might actually piss Prince off? Dumbfuck. Then, Joe and Jon Miller are doing their blowjob of a fluff piece on Mark McGwire, the Cards new hitting coach. In no specific words, but more so just the overall tone of lavishing praise on one of the game’s true pariahs, I want to wring Morgan’s neck for claiming this move to be intelligent. Does Morgan know that McGwire was a career .263 hitter who only hit over .300 for a full season once? Sure, Big Mac has a career OBP of .394, but I’d guess that number to be skewed by his ability to crush the big bombs rather than his prowess to get himself on base. I can surmise this from seeing he only had 140-plus hits in 5 of 16 seasons. Making Don Mattingly as your hitting coach, that’s a no-brainer, but McGwire? I’ll patiently wait to be proven wrong or short-sighted.