Boil Until Jimmer

NCAA Basketball Tournament officially got underway Tuesday, but those ‘play-in’ games seem to mean so little. Other than the fact that they became the official round 1 and round 1 is now apparently round 2. Why do they keep tinkering with the tournament? Just go back to a 64-team format. Not 65, not 68. Well, all bitching aside, I’ll be making notes all day and night inbetween burgers and pizzas and heart attacks.

We have an upset! Morehead St. beat Louisville. I paid a fair amount of attention to college hoops this year, but who the hell is on Morehead St.? Doesn’t really matter. This loss is the punishment due Rick Pitino for fucking up the Celtics back when I still liked pro ball.

Kentucky barely escapes the clutches of the Ivy League, beating Princeton. Brandon Knight looked like shit, honestly. Yet, he did save the day by making his only field goal count in clutch time. Terrence Jones does a lot of standing around and setting screens with his ass to the ball. Dude’s a huge talent, but somebody needs to polish him up before he thinks he’s NBA-eligible. I’ve really enjoyed this Kentucky team all year, but they are only 6 deep and might still be too young to go very far in the tournament. That said, I do have them picked to win another game and make the Sweet 16.

Temple won and no one cares, except Temple alum Bill Cosby. I used to care when John Chaney was their coach.

Quick, weird thought here: If I were to fill out an NCAA bracket full of whimsy and cosmic predictions, I’d have UCONN going all the way. It makes no sense. They’re basically Kemba Walker and some other guys (no offense, I like your team, but Walker carried you through the Big East Tournament). Okay, if the Huskies are gonna play this way for the whole tournament, they are no longer Kemba Walker and the Four Malamutes. Jeremy Lamb and Roscoe Smith are really stepping it up, taking some pressure off of Walker. Lookin good. By the way, Walker’s backcourt mate has one of the coolest names in college hoops: Shabazz Napier.

Cincinnati’s uniforms are atrocious. Yes, we know you’re the Bearcats, but do you need stylized, fake claw marks on the shoulders of your unis? No. Stop being retarded. Hopefully Missouri wins this game and we won’t have to look at those stupid uniforms any longer.

And in a parting note for the night, I really have to feel for Tom Izzo. Such a respected, successful coach (and seemingly likable), who looks, with 12.25 left and down by 12 to UCLA, to be a quick out of this tournament. Maybe he’ll be back next year.

 

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