Dictionary of Baseball Player Names 040517: Jeremy Hazelbaker

Please note: these posts are intended solely as humor, satire, and a satirical look at the history of my favorite game. Only on rare occasion — anything to do with Jack Zduriencik — is there any malicious intent.

Jeremy Hazelbaker. n. – for centuries in the Netherlands, the Hazelbakers were minor lords, looked down upon by all the higher lords and royalty. they acquired their surname for their specialty of baking delicious breads and pastries, particularly their hazelnut scones. n. – the jerk who breaks up a no-hitter in the top of the 9th inning on Kyle Hendricks’s 95th pitch of the night, depositing an 81 mph changeup into the right field bleachers. colloquial phrase. – what is uttered while running the bases after that home run, “I just baked your bread.”


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